"Godzilla 2: Rise of Ghidorah" rough draft

Nice job the plot still needs working and also the way you made the script this could stand for a scaled down version of GMK. Oh and why does Godzilla attack the military? He didn't even notce us in the first ovie sothere sho be a reason, please clarrify. Also you might go back and make the weapon that paralyses Godzilla a giant electric amplifier machine. One last thing; where did KG come from and what do all the monsters lok like? Sorry for nit picking but really this is a good rough draft. Jus needs more plot, clarrification on what the monsters in the movie are dong, and where the heck Mothra and Rodan came from.

I'm going to be brutally honest with what I see in this idea of yours, so be ready for that. It will be harsh, it will sound mean spirited at times, but I'm only being honest because I myself am a serious writer and I take such works seriously. If you want realistic feedback from someone who's not afraid to sugar coat their feelings and opinions, then keep reading.

If all you want is for people to say you did an awesome job, then don't read this.

With that warning in place, I'll begin.

First of all, nobody in the military would have an emotional investment in Godzilla. His actions were noble in that he went after the MUTOs, but other than that Godzilla heroism in in question at the end of the movie. If you didn't notice, there is a question mark at the end of "Savior of our city?" in the end of the movie meaning they don't know whether to call him a hero or not. That part of your synopsis is based on false or projected fan attachment, not a realistic military mindset who all view Godzilla for what he is, a threat.

Godzilla's life was spent deep beneath the oceans, not on an island. So that part of your synopsis is also based on nothing more than false or projected fan attachment to previous Godzilla entries.

Ghidorah's lack of a backstory or proper introduction is also a complete waste of time. You don't establish him as a character before hand. He just shows up. It's impractical and outright poor thought on your part. Also, the military suddenly has a super weapon capable of paralyzing Godzilla when nukes didn't work? Also, why doens't Ghidorah just kill him once he's paralyzed? Do the humans control him and tell him to back off? Again this was poorly thought out on your part.

Joe Brody is alive eh? How? He was officially declared dead in the movie and put in a body bag to be disposed of. Who would hide that and why? Was he that important just because he understood the MUTOs use of emp when everyone else questioned it? If you ask me, the government would not intercede on his behalf just because he knew what the MUTOs were doing before they hatched and began wreaking havoc. He's a nice character, but he's as dead as a doornail and forcing his revival is very contrived.

Your just randomly throwing in Mothra and Rodan into the mix as well? Why? Are you just trying to recreate Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster while adding the detail from Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah with G ripping his middle head off? Mothra and Rodan have no established place in this story that you're setting up. They're just another forced idea that lacks creativity or true depth and reason. Also, what is this "centuries long dispute" between Godzilla and Ghidroah? Where did that idea even come from? Where was Ghidorah in all this and why wasn't he coming after Godzilla in the first movie if he supposedly has this rivalry with him? One more thing is why is this going back to San Francisco again? Isn't there somewhere else that this could take place? Last I checked San Fran is only one city among thousands along the US west coast.

And now you're forcing Destoroah into the mix at the end. Why? How did Destoroyah come to be here? His origin of being born of the oxygen destroyer means that he doesn't exist in this franchise becase that fantasy based weapon was never used.

One last thing is that King Ghidorah is not Godzilla's arch nemesis. He's like the annoying uncle who shows up to parties uninvited. Despite all the movies he's been in, he's never once defeated Godzilla. Mecha King Ghidorah managed to move Godzilla from the city to the ocean, but Godzilla still destroyed Mecha KG's electronics and basically killed him when they fell into the water. Godzilla was alive and well, and the true winner of the fight. How can a monster who's never beaten Godzilla be his "arch nemesis?"

So in conclusion, I've been brutally honest with you and ripped each detail I could find that didn't make sense in relation to the Godzilla 2014 movie apart. I know it's a bit harsh and it sounds mean spirited, but this is the kind of criticism you'll face for providing such works to an audience. There will always be those who are worse than me when it comes to such criticism, so be ready for it if you ever decide to put it anywhere other than this site.

Everyone here is a Godzilla fan right down to the site creator, but ultimately if they're telling you that you did a good job and not giving you any constructive criticism or questioning your decisions, they're not helping you. My hope is that by thinking about the things I've mentioned, you'll gain a better understanding of what it takes to truly create something that works. Right now, as it is, your rough draft does not work. In terms of remaining true to the 2014 movie, it fails miserably. Forcing monsters into the mix without giving them a proper reason for existing and using forced details like Monster Island and an emotionally attached military (which were never part of the first movie to begin with) are signs of weak writing and show a lack of true creativity.

So my advice is to do some more research and perhaps watch the 2014 movie again to get a better understanding of the way they've set their universe up. Right now your rough draft does not line up with it at all, and falls far short of being even close to a viable or believable story in its own right. You've got some work to do, but if you stick to it you'll get there.

* Should have said "whose not afraid of being honest and who does NOT sugar coating their feelings or opinions

My full story treatment is now online for anyone who wants to read it. It explains all the major plot details, monster origins, character story arcs, it explains everything in full for your (hopeful) viewing pleasure. 

This was just a rough sketch summarizing the main plot points without going into full detail, I do apologize for that, but now you've got the whole thing. It sets the stage for the 3rd and final movie as you'll see from reading it, hope you all enjoy!